


It's Okay

by merthurkdramas_101



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur is a doctor, Barebacking, Bottom Arthur, Boxing, Gangs, Hunith is evil, M/M, Merlin is was a gangster, Minor Character Death, O_o, Spit As Lube, but has a pure heart, obvs, so is gwaine, this is probably the filthiest smut scene i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-20 23:43:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9521291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merthurkdramas_101/pseuds/merthurkdramas_101
Summary: Arthur falls victim to Gwaine's puppy dog eyes and ends up at a boxing gym to let out his frustrations about being a doctor and falls for the instructor, Merlin. He knows they love each other, but why is Merlin being so closed off?A story of crack, love, smut, and probably unrealistic gang-like things.Original prompt:Slash, all the drama you want ♡ I wish to read angst and love, be as wild as you want just no rape pls it can be AU or events parallel to main history, if possible some situation where Merlin is in danger and Arthur saves him... or not :B maybe Merlin dies instead or Arthur... or some stuff





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Angelusoren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelusoren/gifts).



> AHH this is my final work for the Merthur Gift Exchange...i swear lolol! angelusoren, this is for you!! I hope it's what you were looking for! Fun fact: i abandoned this fic a while back because I couldn't get it out for some reason, but your prompt helped me finish it, and I have to say, i'm kind of happy with how it turned out! I hope you like it too!! 
> 
> Sebastian, I have to thank you again for being patient with me while I finished both of my stories and dealing with my incapability at dealing with technology! I hope you like this too! <333
> 
> As always, feel free to leave comments or kudos if you're feeling up to it!! They're much appreciated!! I had so much writing for this gift exchange, and I'm kind of really proud of the work i've created!! <333
> 
> WARNINGS: there is a beating in the beginning of the story, but is not described in detail. Merlin kills the person before he can suffer anymore. There are legal actions taken against the gang in the end, but i'm not a lawyer, nor do i want to be, so i don't know how this stuff actually works. Please excuse me for any inaccuracies. Also, i don't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy this! :3

**~~~Six Years Ago—Merlin’s POV**

“I got accepted to Camelot University.”

Normally, when Merlin’s boyfriend had good news to share, he would lurch forward and kiss him on the mouth and congratulate him with hugs and kisses, and maybe even a fuck. But the way Will was sitting on the edge of the bed, back hunched and head hung low, he knew there would be no kissing. Not even a fuck.

“Will, that’s…”

“I want you to come with me.”

Merlin sighed. Not because they’d had this conversation before, but because he knew how it was going to end this time, and he had no idea how he’d get out of it with his mother.

“I love you, Merlin. You know that, but I can’t be around this life anymore. I don’t want _you_ to be around this life anymore. There’s so much you could do away from here! You could open a boxing gym, like you wanted! And we both could be home by six every night and you could cook for me and I’d give you massages and—”

Merlin smiled and hugged his boyfriend from behind, resting his chin on his right shoulder and kissed the side of his neck. He turned his head from right at Will’s ear and chuckled at the way he shivered when Merlin let out puffs of air in his ear.

“When do you want to go?” he said.

Will turned around quickly and caught Merlin’s arm before he fell back on the bed, eyes wide and betrayed, face wet from the tears that stopped falling.

“Don’t fuck with me, you bastard. This is not a joke.”

Merlin brought his hands up to cup Will’s face and kissed him once on the mouth. “I’ve been thinking about this since you told me you were applying there, Will. I’m 100% serious about this.”

“Really?” His eyes started tearing up again.

Merlin raised his eyebrow. “If you didn’t think I’d say yes, why’d you ask me?”

Will shrugged as he brought his hands up to tangle in Merlin’s black sex hair while Merlin’s eyes followed a wet trail down Will’s puffy cheeks. It fell from his chin onto Merlin’s thigh, a mix of warm and cold. “I wanted to fight with you once more, I guess. Just to make sure you actually loved me.”

Merlin pulled away his hand and punched Will not-so-lightly in the gut and laughed when he lurched forward.

“What was that for?!”

“You doubting how much I love you, you prick. I’ve loved you my whole life; you know that, you tosser.”

“I know you love your family too, though. And I wouldn’t make you pick like this, Merlin, you know. But I…I want a life with you. I want a future with you.”

Merlin trained his eyes on Will’s ugly comforter. It was a hideous gray color with hot pink polka dots on it that he got from his mother when he told her he was gay. She was accepting, of course, but teased him about it all the time. Merlin wondered why he still has it.

“It’s not that simple, Will.”

“I know it isn’t, but—”

“No, you don’t know. After my mum found out that I knew about her killing my father and your mum, she’s kept a close watch on me because she knew I would try and bolt. She even has Daegal watch over me at night, but I manage to slip through his fingers pretty easily cause he’s a newbie, but something this big, I think she knows what’s coming. I think she knows about us.”

Will smiled. “I have a plan for how to sneak away from your parents.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Of course you do.”

“Well, I’d been dreaming about this since you left for Escetier for your drug deal. I didn’t think you’d say yes.”

Merlin smiled softly and kissed his forehead. “I’d do anything for you, Will.”

Will blushed and buried his nose in Merlin’s chest while Merlin chuckled.

“Tell me about this plan of yours, then.”

***

“Merlin, where are you going?”

Merlin figured he’d get caught by someone, and when he saw his mom disappear to her bedroom at around 1am, he thought he’d be clear of her and get caught by Daegal—someone he could lie to without problem. Not his fucking mother.

“Just headed out to meet Valiant. He said he found another customer.”

His mom hummed, and Merlin winced. Humming was never a good sign.

“Follow me,” she said, and Merlin did so without argument. He hoped Will didn’t think he was bailing.

He slowed his strut when they neared the Fence. It’s where they did initiations and out beatings, and public beatings for any member who betrayed the Druid law.

“Did we get a new recruit?”

“We found a rebel,” she said, and Merlin’s heart stopped. Rebels were rare. They were the sons or daughters of gang members who died who decided not to join the gang.

There was exactly one.

He ran in front of his mom and faced her. Her face was expressionless; eyes cold and brown as she stared at Merlin. “Mom, no. Not him. You promised not to do anythi—”

He saw the hook coming, but it still hurt and knocked him to the floor.

“This is what you get for betraying me. For betraying the Druids. Running away, Merlin? Really? This isn’t _West Side Story_! You have a responsibility to this gang and I’m not going to let you screw it up because of some stupid crush.”

“It’s not a crush! I love him!”

She punched him again; a jab to the gut, and he hunched over.

“There was only one rule assigned to you, Merlin. Just one. Don’t fall in love with a non-gang member. I’ve let you do whatever you wanted your whole life and this is how you repay me? By falling in love with a rebel?! I’m ashamed of you, I really am. You’ll get a beating from us, but Will doesn’t get any mercy.”

Merlin shot up to his feet. “He’ll die! He’ll die if you do this! You can’t kill him!”

“It’s for your own good, Merlin. Your head isn’t on straight.”

“Mom, no! Please don’t kill him! You—you’ll have to kill me too, then!”

His mother stopped a few feet away from the Fence and threw her head back and laughed. The group standing in the middle of the circle looked back at her and dropped to one knee—the customary greeting to the gang leader. And when they separated, Merlin saw Will in the middle of the circle, face already covered with blood and hands tied behind his back.

“Merlin. You don’t get it. You don’t have a choice. I will keep you locked up in a fucking cell to make you stay on as leader. I won’t kill you—neither will anyone else. But we can make sure that you won’t be able to walk again if you say something ridiculous like that again. You are _going_ to be the leader of this gang. Whether or not you like it or not. You have no option. This is your life, Merlin. Your destiny. You can’t escape it.”

He ran to Will, cupping his face gently. “I’m so sorry, Will. I di—didn’t know they would—why would they?”

“It’s okay, Merlin. Just remember that I love you, okay?”

“No. No, no. You’re not going to die here. Not this way. I’ll save you, okay? Just trust me.”

Will leaned forward all of a sudden, resting his chin on Merlin’s shoulder.

“It hurts,” he whispered.

Merlin’s heart clenched. “I know, baby. I’m sorry. I’ll stop it, okay? I’ll talk to—”

“Shoot me,” he whispered. “Make it stop, love. Please.”

Merlin shot backwards, eyes wide. He was staring at Will and the crowd, who was making their way forward with pipes and clubs.

“Will, don’t make me. Please.”

Will looked him straight in the eyes.

“If you love me, you’ll kill me. My life has been yours, Merlin. It will always be yours.”

He heard his mother call at the group to finish it, but Merlin was quicker. He grabbed the gun from the back of his pants and aimed the gun at Will’s heart.

“It’s okay,” he mouthed.

And then he dropped.

The last thing Merlin remembered was the smile on Will’s face and the life go out of his eyes as pipes and clubs hit him across his body.

It didn’t numb the pain at all.

***

**~~~Present—Arthur’s POV**

“Remind me again how you managed to get me over here?” Arthur asks as he eyes a buff, good-looking bloke staring at Gwaine like he wants to ravish him right there, in the middle of the boxing gym.

“Because you’re my best mate and actually care about me and my love life,” Gwaine says. But he’s not even paying attention to Arthur.

“Gwaine, can you focus for just one second?”

Gwaine turns to him, and a strand of his ridiculously glorious hair falls from his loose ponytail. Now, Arthur has had feelings for Gwaine exactly once in his whole lifetime (they’ve known each other since they were kids, so it was bound to happen). But after a drunk fuck a few years ago, all the infatuation and feelings he felt were long gone. But his hair…his hair was something else.

“Arthur, you came here because you care about your health and didn’t want to die from taking too many shifts at the hospital. Seriously, mate. It’s been over three months of you not coming out with the gang. Even Morgana is starting to miss you!”

Arthur snorts. “Morgana wouldn’t miss me even if I was dead, Gwaine. That’s what step-sisters do—they just make you suffer till you’re dead.”

Gwaine rolls his eyes, but flicks his eyes back to the buff guy as he starts to make his way over. Arthur does not _hide_ behind Gwaine because this guy’s fucking huge. He just lets Gwaine take the situation into his hands. Hopefully, not literally.

“Gwaine, I see you’ve managed to bring along your friend,” Buff Man says as he eyes Arthur. Like he’s sizing him up. Which he doesn’t need to do, really.

“Ah, yes. I’m Arthur—Gwaine’s _best friend_ , not boyfriend. Please don’t hurt me. You can have him.” Smooth, Arthur. Real smooth.

The man throws his head back and Arthur flinches at how his laugh echoes through the empty building. Arthur looks over at Gwaine, who’s staring back at Buff Man looking absolutely _besotted_. Which is not a look associated with Gwaine. His looks could be narrowed down to three: trashed drunk, fucked out bliss, and puppy dog eye manipulation. Arthur has had the unfortunate pleasure of witnessing all of them. The puppy dog eyes are the worst, and they might probably be the reason he’s standing here right now.

“I’m Percy, one of the instructors here. Merlin’s in the back, but he should be out in a few. Gwaine called me ahead of time to let me know you were wanting to try out.”

“It seems I don’t know how to take a break, apparently.” Gwaine chuckles at him but takes a few steps closer to Percy who’s holding out black strips of cloth.

“I’ll say. It looks like you have a sword up your ass,” says a voice from behind them all.

Arthur turns around to find a very, very fit looking bloke, about Arthur’s height, but smaller frame, walking towards them, wrapping a blue cloth around his hands. He’s wearing a grey tank top and long shorts, so it was easy to make out his muscular figure. And on the top of his left bicep was a simple but bold tattoo of what seemed to be a triangle, but with three branches ending in a soft swirl. His eyes were a cobalt blue, soft and distant, which contrasted his black and shaggy hair. His full lips were a rosy pink, and Arthur noticed they were cast in a very ~~sexy~~ annoying smirk.

“And who might you be?” Arthur asks, because he can’t think of anything better to say.

The man’s lips turn into a full smile at this, eyeing Percy and Gwaine before he turns to Arthur and holds out a blue hand. “I’m Merlin, the owner of this place. And, I guess, I’ll also be the one trying to get that stick out of your ass.”

Arthur splutters, ignoring Merlin’s hand completely and brings his arms up across his chest.

“And what makes you think you’re so special?”

“Well, I don’t see anyone else here who wants to take a go at it. Do you?” Arthur looks up at Merlin and finds his face set in a cool, inviting look; one Arthur’s way too familiar with because he’s pulled it on loads of men.

“Sorry, mate. I don’t go for twinks like you.”

Gwaine thwacks his arm, but he hears Merlin and Percy laughing, and this time it feels like the whole place is vibrating.

“Oh mate. I’m gonna have to do some real work with this one, eh?” Merlin says looking at Gwaine.

Gwaine, the poor sod, gives Merlin what seems to be an apologetic smile before he pulls Arthur by the arm to one of the punching bags.

“What the hell was that?! Merlin’s the instructor, you know. He could take you apart with one blow!”

“I’m sure. I bet he could even do it in less than that, yeah?” Arthur says.

Gwaine raises his eyebrow at him.

“I mean, come on, Gwaine! You’ve seen him! He’s so tiny and wiry! I could take him.”

“I’m stronger than I look, mate,” Merlin says from across the room, which isn’t really that far, winking at him.

“ _Percy_ can’t take him, Arthur.”

Arthur laughs. “Now that, I’ve got to see.”

“Oh you’ll see it all right. You’ll get your fair share of it too,” Merlin says before he walks behind a door.

“Now you’ve done it,” Percy says with a smirk of his own. “He’s gonna go all bonkers during practice now, mate. Hope you’re ready for some hard hitting.”

Arthur snorts and takes the gloves Percy offers to him. “I’ve been punching since before I was born. I can take it no problem.”

***

Clearly, Arthur is not very good with words. He wonders how he passed his residency and got great reviews from all of his patients, all claiming he had good bedside manner. It’s been only one hour, and Arthur doesn’t think he’s tasted his foot in his mouth this much since he found out he was gay and tried to pick up boys. Needless to say, it was a bad time for him.

He’s on the floor after finishing the boxing work out with burpees, trying and failing to catch his breath as Merlin, Gwaine and Percy walk up to him, laughing about something Arthur can’t be bothered to understand.

“So? How was it?” Merlin asks.

“I told him it’d poop him out. He’s been out of shape—” “No I haven’t, Gwaine!” “—for a while. That residency really killed him.”

“Shut up, Gwaine.”

“You actually did pretty well for your first day,” Percy says. And God bless his giant, gentle soul. He may have said that out loud, because Percy is blushing, Merlin is laughing and Gwaine is staring at Percy again.

“God, can someone help me up please?”

He takes the hand before he knows who’s it is, so he tells himself that’s why he’s stock still once he’s three inches from Merlin’s face. He’s sweating, but it doesn’t look disgusting on him. It makes him look like Edward Cullen, but not in the annoying, sparkly way—just a “holy shit I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more beautiful in my life” kind of way.

“You really did do all right, Arthur. You just need to tighten up your upper body and keep your elbows in and watch your shoulders when you punch. Some more ab work and you’ll be fine.”

“Are you calling me fat, Merlin?”

Merlin steps back slightly, letting go of Arthur’s hand, and blinks too long and too fast for it to be innocent.

“Me? Call you fat? I would never, Arthur!”

“Oh shut up,” he says, turning around to take off his gloves so he doesn’t smile in front of him.

“Seriously though, I think I’d give you three months before you become an intermediate boxer. You’re fit enough already; you just got to brush up on your technique and get some combinations down. How about it?”

“Trying to sell me something, Merlin?”

“Um, I run a gym, Arthur. And teach lessons. That’s kind of my job, you know.”

Arthur runs away from Gwaine’s laugh to pick up his wallet and keys, so he blames that short sprint for the redness on his cheeks.

“So, how much is it for three months?” Arthur asks as he follows Merlin to the till. Percy and Gwaine are by the bags, talking very softly about something, but Arthur doesn’t want to think about it because Gwaine blushes when Percy touches his elbow.

“Well, it’s usually $150 for three months, including the gloves and wraps, unless you buy your own. But because you’re cute, I’ll dock you $40.”

Arthur looks up from his wallet and narrows his eyes at Merlin’s smile. “Do that a lot, do you?”

Merlin’s smile only grows. “Of course. You’re not the only cute boy in town, you know. Even Gwaine got off $25.”

“Not including the bonus of Percy, of course,” he says. But Merlin doesn’t laugh. His smile turns flat and eyes go dark and full of something Arthur doesn’t know what to label. It does scare him, though. He hasn’t seen a look like that on anyone’s face before—a look that promises harm.

“Percy isn’t a fucking piece of property. He’s a person for Christ’s sake. Treat him with respect.”

Arthur blinks, not sure he understands why, exactly, Merlin’s become defensive all of a sudden. But he goes through what he said and blanches.

“Oh God! No, I didn’t mean it that way at all! I just meant he was something extra! Something that Gwaine didn’t expect is all. NOT—not that, you know, he would be a side piece! Or is one! He’s not! He’s a great person, I’m sure, but I—sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear.” And God he thought Gwen was the only person he knew who could ramble on like that. It pays off though, because Merlin seems to drop his shoulders and a little light comes back to his eyes as he looks Arthur up and down.

“You ramble all the time, Wart?”

Arthur furrows his brow. “Wart?”

“Yeah, I’ve decided to call you Wart. Something about you feels…I don’t know. Like it’s going to be irritating me for a while, you know?”

Arthur does not know how to process this at all, so he just stares at Merlin.

“So you gonna buy the classes or not, Wart?”

He hands his card over automatically, staring at the way Merlin’s fingers look even longer now that the blue wraps aren’t on his hands anymore. Even his fucking _knuckles_ look pretty when they curve over the card, tightening around it when he swipes it through the machine. His hands, when Merlin hands his card back, are huge and wide, covered in callouses and scars, but they still look soft, and Arthur can’t help but wonder if his fingers would be soft too; curling around his neck, playing with the hair at his nape, pulling him in as his other hand drops to his ass while his fingers start to play with his—

“Arthur! You just about finished staring at Merlin, then? I want to get home before I have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. And aren’t you on call tonight?”

Arthur closes his mouth— _fuck_ , when did it open? —and glances quickly at Merlin before he takes his card and signs the receipt, barely registering Merlin’s small smile (oh God, he’s _blushing_ ) before Gwaine pulls his arm towards the door.

“See you tomorrow, Wart!”

Yes, Arthur thinks. There may very well be an inkling of Merlin crawling under his own skin, itching at Arthur to notice him.

Well, maybe he will.

***

Arthur goes back the next day and the day after that, and the day after that, until three months are up and he’s bought a six-month pack. He’s been more alert at work and feels like he’s in the best shape of his life, both mentally and physically. Medical school and the residency program at Albion threw off his social life, so the only friends he gained out of all of it was Gwaine and Gwen, and by extension, Lance. He grew up with Gwaine and Gwen, and Lance was Gwen’s high school sweetheart—they’re now married and expecting their second kid.

So having Merlin and Percy to talk to (and banter with) was eye-opening and a little bit exhilarating for him.

The boxing lessons were his favorite part of the week. He went every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday with Gwaine, and he steadily became able to avoid Merlin’s punches to his gut every time he walked through the door. The lessons themselves, though, gave Arthur more than 99 problems to worry about. Every class—every single one—Merlin would come up behind Arthur, gloves still on, and trail them around his waist softly before they landed on either side, fixing his position (pun so determinedly wished was intended) while his breath was at Arthur’s ear, whispering that blasted nickname and what he should be doing, instead of yelling at him like he did to the rest of his class.

Arthur was thankful that he wore loose shorts and that most of his exercise shirts passed his crotch so he could very openly have a hard on but have no one notice.

And because of those private lessons (cough), Arthur never really bought gloves or wraps, because Merlin offered to put them on and take them off after each lesson. So Arthur would show up twenty minutes before the lesson actually started, watching the way Merlin’s long and delicate fingers flipped and twisted the wraps around and through his own fingers and shivered at the way Merlin’s fingers would drag across his forearm after unwrapping them.

Sometimes, Arthur thought that signing up for boxing did him more harm than good. Then, he remembers the amount of times he’s got himself off and how much his stamina has improved as he watches Merlin demonstrate how to throw a combination, and he is very, very thankful that Gwaine’s puppy dog eyes work on him.

They happen to work on Merlin too, he finds out one Thursday night, when Gwaine complains he needs a break and a drink but he’s too lazy to go out by himself. So Merlin, Percy and Arthur end up taking him to the Green Dragon, recommended by Arthur, for that night for drinks, which ends up becoming a routine.

Every Thursday night, they would walk the four blocks to the pub while Merlin would be looking over his shoulder with a pale look on his face, eyes guarded and conversation flowing choppily until about two pints in, where he would then proceed to giggle boisterously at any and everything Arthur would say. Then towards the end of the night, when Gwaine and Percy would get a little too friendly for public, Merlin and Arthur would make fun of them while they shot each other looks, hoping the other didn’t know he was doing it.

Then, there were Merlin’s stories. The stories Merlin told were downright insane—from being chased by the police when he was 12 for hijacking a helicopter to training chickens to follow his high school teacher everywhere (apparently, the teacher was homophobic and Merlin had just come out as gay—how nice for Arthur).

Percy and Gwaine would be in their own corner by the end of their Thursday nights, half cuddling and half pawing at each other the whole night, still completely in love with the game of “look, but don’t touch”, but it was driving Merlin and Arthur, and all the patrons of their bar during weekly pub night, insane.

“Just go fuck already!” Merlin yelled one night, about a year after knowing one another, when they were being completely unreasonable. Percy was _literally_ in Gwaine’s lap, squirming in a way that had Gwaine blush and make his mouth drop open. They both blushed, spluttered and struggled to get off of each other, but when the waiter, Dennis, grabbed them both by the collar and pushed them out of the pub, everyone cheered.

“God, that was getting way too unbearable, right? I wasn’t the only one?” Arthur asked Merlin. But Merlin was focused on his pint, tracing the rim of the glass with his finger, eyes covered in some sort of mist. He’d been standoffish since they walked into the pub, eyes lingering on a figure by the loos, then turned pale and he practically sprinted to the bar to down a few shots and chugged his first pint. He’s been in a moping spree since then.

“Merlin? You all right, mate?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

Arthur chokes on his sip of beer and pats his chest before turning to stare at Merlin. His head is still down, but his eyes are peeking sideways at him while his full, pink lips are curved into that half smirk Arthur’s come to know.

“I’ll take that as a no, then,” Merlin says as he takes a sip of his drink.

Arthur sighs and blankly grabs at a napkin, dabbing at the wet spots on the table.

“Just once,” he lies. He eyes Merlin, who nods his head as if to say, _go on then, idiot_ , completely unaware.

“There was this bloke in med school—his name was Edwin. He was kind of strange; he had this weird obsession with bugs and believed they held the cure to every illness known to man. But he was honest with me and treated me like I wasn’t my father’s son. Lots of people only approached me because my dad was the head of research at Albion General Hospital, but he didn’t seem to care at all. And sure, we had weird conversations and didn’t have a lot in common, but at the end of the day, when he smiled at me and said, ‘Thanks for listening to me’…I don’t know. I guess I felt like I mattered to him as a person. Like I was good for something and that I was capable of being a good human being. That I was capable of being loved by someone.

“It turned out though, that he _was_ just using me for my father. Apparently, my father pushed his father out of the business which somehow got him killed, and he got close to me so he could get close to my father so he could try to kill him. I have to admit though, trying to sneak loud and poisonous bugs in my car the night we were supposed to meet my father was pretty stupid of him. He was arrested, and I think he has a few more years of sentencing before he’s let out. Who’s to know what he’ll do when he gets out, though.”

He’s wiped the whole table, unaware that he’s leaning into Merlin’s shoulder to get the far corner of the table when Merlin pushes him back into his seat, hand super fucking warm and soft—just like Arthur’s imagined it.

“Was the sex good at least?” Merlin says, and Arthur chuckles at his attempt to make light of something that really is kind of sad.

“It was definitely something.”

Merlin’s hands show up on top of his, all of a sudden, stopping his fiddling with the wet napkin. He takes it out of his hand and only manages to look up at Merlin’s biceps underneath the long-sleeved Spandex shirt he’s wearing.

“I’m sorry, Arthur.”

Arthur chuckles again, staring at how Merlin’s fingers are curling tighter around his wrists. “You haven’t called me Wart all day.”

“What?”

“Wart. You’ve called me Wart every single day since we first met, but you’ve called me Arthur all day today.”

“That’s…it’s your name. Why wouldn’t I call you Arthur? And you hate it when I call you Wart. You’ve told me so ever since that day!”

“Well, maybe I like it when I know I get under your skin.”

He can’t look up at Merlin now, so his eyes are still staring at Merlin’s fingers that are still on his wrist. When Merlin starts slowly swiping his thumb back and forth over his pulse point, Arthur looks up at Merlin, but his heart only beats faster and lower in his chest from where it was in his throat not two seconds ago.

“Arthur…I can’t.”

“Bullshit, Merlin.”

Merlin’s shoulders droop along with his head and he turns around to get out of the booth, dropping Arthur’s hands in his lap, and his heart follows quickly as a knot begins to form in his throat.

“I can’t, Arthur. I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

Merlin’s out of the pub by the time Arthur gets to the edge of the booth, so he just sits there, staring at his wrists and watches his pulse go from heartache to heart break. He lets Dennis call him a cab, and by the time he gets home, he doesn’t have any tears left.

***

“What the fuck did you do to Merlin?” Gwaine asks two weeks later. It’s slow for a Friday, he thinks, since Gwaine has enough time to run away from the nurses who coddle him at station six. Arthur’s on his last patient of the day at station 15, so he tries his best to ignore Gwaine and his ridiculous questions as he tries to figure out the best treatment for Miss Garrah in room 1583.

“I don’t know, Gwaine. I haven’t been in in two weeks.”

“That’s exactly my point. Poor bloke stares at the door every night, waiting for you to walk through before he starts the lesson, and halfway through he lets Percy take over. He _never_ lets Percy take over his classes.”

“Well, that’s good then, right? He’s getting some teaching time while Merlin gets his rest. I always told him teaching seven one-hour long classes a day couldn’t be good for him, but he always says he’s done worse and has been in longer fights. He’s ridiculous.”

When Gwaine doesn’t say anything back, he looks up from his chart and finds him with his hands on his hips and frown plastered on his face.

“Percy must be stretching out your emotional range, mate. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you frown before.”

“Oh, he stretches that all right. As well as a couple other things.”

Arthur drops his pen and gags, cursing Merlin for encouraging Gwaine’s innuendos and cursing Gwaine for being Gwaine.

“Arthur, seriously. You’ve been working non-stop since our last pub night and Merlin’s been on his toes about something.”

“Well how should I know why he’s tiptoeing around. It’s not like he tells me anything anyway.”

When Gwaine doesn’t respond again, he looks up and expects another one of Gwaine’s frowns, but what he finds this time is worry.

“Is that what this is about? That Merlin hasn’t told you anything about himself?”

“No, Gwaine. It’s about how last week at the pub I practically told him I loved him and he said ‘he can’t’ without giving me any explanation,” he grits out. He’s tried not to think about it, since he doesn’t have an outlet to let it all out, but he can’t help but be angry whenever he sees a black mop of hair in the hospital or feels a certain muscle move the way it’s supposed to when he goes in for a left hook, but all he’s doing is changing the IV fluids. Or, especially when he sits in his car behind the tree in the parking lot of the gym like a creeper and watches as Merlin looks for him, eyes hopeful but full of worry at the same time. Those are the worst times.

“Arthur, it’s not what you think. Honestly.”

“So it’s not that he loves me back but he doesn’t want to be with me because of a reason he’s too chicken to tell me about?”

Gwaine’s mouth opens and closes, then opens again, but all that comes out is a squeak. So Arthur sighs and writes down what treatment would work perfectly for Miss Garrah’s illness. He asks the nurses to get an IV drip ready for her room and starts to march away when Gwaine pulls his arm back.

“It’s really not that simple, Arthur. There’s…Merlin has a really…just talk to him about it. He’ll tell you now.” Gwaine shakes his head. “He’s _ready_ to tell you now.”

Arthur furrows his eyebrows, hoping for more explanation, but Gwaine walks away, head bowed and feet scuffing against the boring, ugly tiles of the hospital floor.

***

“I heard you’ve been moping after me,” he says as Merlin’s last class empties out of the gym. His nearly trips over his feet at how fast Merlin looks up at him and how he smiles—so wide, so bright and _hopeful_.

“I’ve heard you’ve been biting people’s heads off at work. Not sure that really helps anyone since you work in a hospital and try to save people and all.”

Arthur can’t help the smile that crosses his face as Merlin takes the last few steps so they’re a foot apart. It’s enough for now, Arthur thinks.

“See you next week, Merlin!” Percy calls from behind them. Arthur turns around and watches him and Gwaine walk out of the gym, hand in hand, and smiles.

“So that finally happened, huh?”

Merlin snorts as his eyes dart from Arthur to Gwaine and Percy. “About time, really. It was killing everyone in the gym as well.”

His eyes pierce Arthur’s again, and Arthur stares back at him, just as intense and wild and hopeful as he was two weeks ago.

Merlin must see it in his eyes because he looks away and walks towards the bench in the back of the room and motions Arthur to follow him. When Arthur sits down, Merlin shoots up and starts pacing, hands running through his hair and lips turning white from biting on them so hard.

“Merlin, what—”

“Arthur, I need to tell you something, and I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay?” He’s stopped pacing, eyes boring into Arthur’s, desperation leaking from every inch of his body and falling out of the pulse on his neck. Arthur nods.

“I’m not from Albion. I’m from Camelot, okay? I was born and raised there until I moved here on my 25th birthday six years ago. I was—I was in a gang. I was the heir to the Druids.”

Arthur almost laughs, but Merlin’s face is grim and his fingers are making crescent moons in his palms.

“I became their leader on my 21st birthday after I—I proved myself to them by…I…it was—Will was—he…”

Arthur swallows his irrational fear and stands up to pull Merlin into a hug. He’s changed, Arthur thinks, otherwise he wouldn’t be here telling him this. He wouldn’t be here in Albion, in Arthur’s arms telling him about the past that haunts him to this day. He’s still Merlin. He still has a good heart—he’s still beautiful.

“It’s okay, Merlin.”

Merlin starts sobbing, suddenly, into his chest; long, retching and loud sobs that make Arthur cry too, because Merlin’s hurting—he’s hurting and that’s _not_ okay.

“Merlin, love, it’s okay. It’s gonna be fine, okay? I’m listening. I’m here. It’s okay.”

“Will said that to me all the time. He said it to me after he kissed me and I punched him. He said that to me when I told him my mother killed his mother. He told that to me when I—when I shot him.” Arthur didn’t know who was shaking now. Maybe it’s both of them, he thinks, as he watches his hand pat Merlin’s head softly, as steadily as his breath comes out, shushing him in broken intervals.

“He said it was okay, Arthur! It was okay that I killed him! And I can’t do that again…not again!”

“Merlin, love, it’s…fine. I know you w-won’t h-h-hurt me, okay? You won’t do that.”

Merlin pulls back and looks like a child—his eyes are wide and fragile, heart too much on his sleeve as he gazes down at Arthur with something like hope and love in his face.

“I know. I know I won’t. Because I love you too, Arthur. I love you, even though I told myself not to.”

Arthur grabs Merlin’s face and pulls him in so their foreheads knock together, and Arthur’s knees go weak because _Merlin loves him_.

“I knew you did, you idiot. I know you do,” he says.

“B-but I can’t, Arthur,” Merlin says as he lets out another sob. He rubs his forehead against Arthur’s and presses closer into the space they’ve created. It’s warm. “They’ll find me, I know it. I’ve been so careful since I moved here, not to get into Dragon territory, but the pub we go to, it’s…someone saw me last time we went, and I couldn’t let them see that I love you.” He kisses Arthur’s cheek, but Arthur can’t take it. He wraps his arms tighter around Merlin and pulls him to the ground so they’re both on their knees, because his legs can only hold up so much.

“They made me kill him, and I can’t kill you too, Arthur. I can’t—I can’t lose you.” Merlin pulls back and Arthur’s heart crumbles to ash at the face he sees—it’s too anguished, too old and wise to be Merlin, but at the same time, it’s all that makes him Merlin. It’s tear stained and tainted and lit up with a blush but flushed a blackish blue around his right eye.

“I’m not strong enough to lose you.”

Arthur trails the black eye with his thumb, never taking his eyes off of Merlin, who’s giving away answers like the sun gives light.

“Who did this to you?” he asks.

“Daegal. He’s my mother’s second in command. He found me on Wednesday. He told me to come back and take over because my mother’s dead. She said in her will that I was the rightful heir and no one else could take my place. They’ve been floundering.”

“Are you going to go?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“I need to. I need to tell them to fuck off and go away and to find someone else to lead their stupid gang. I don’t want that. I’ve never wanted that.”

Arthur trails his thumb down to Merlin’s lips, watching Merlin’s pupils dilate. “And what do you want?”

Arthur chuckles as Merlin raises his eyebrow higher than he’s ever seen it and parts his lips as soon as he sees that gold sparkle in Merlin’s eyes as he leans forward.

Their kiss is fast and wet, not at all what Arthur is used to, but it’s amazing because Merlin’s cupping his face and petting his hair while he trails the top of his lips with his warm tongue. Arthur moans around Merlin’s tongue when it enters his mouth and licks the roof of it, hips thrusting upwards with no control when Merlin tugs his head back to start sucking marks all over his neck. But Arthur doesn’t mind, even though he does have work tomorrow.

Merlin starts putting pressure on Arthur’s shoulder, so he complies, unravelling his legs before he lays himself down on the mat, grabbing Merlin’s ass to pull him on top of him. And when he comes, Merlin scoots down in Arthur’s lap so their erections brush and the gym is filled with their names falling off of the walls.

Arthur pulls Merlin’s head back down to his to lick his sharp jawline and nip at the joint between his ear and neck, smiling at the way Merlin bucks helplessly against his dick. They pant and sigh, rub and thrust. When Merlin sits up and takes off his shirt, Arthur stares at the lines the Spandex ever only outlined, but it’s beautiful now as Merlin flexes his muscles as he throws his shirt somewhere to his left. He reaches down to finger at Arthur’s shirt and pulls it off in one motion as he slides further down Arthur’s body, kissing and licking every inch of skin he hasn’t seen.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Arthur. Fuck, look at you.”

Arthur sighs when Merlin’s long fingers slip beneath the fabric of his shorts, and bucks his hips when he feels a wet heat around his cock.

“Can I?” Merlin asks, looking up at him through his lashes.

“If you think you can suck it without coming in your pants,” Arthur says.

Merlin tugs off his shorts, revealing a long and hard cock, shining with pre-come, that smacks against his belly as he smirks when Arthur stops breathing.

“No underwear?”

“I always hoped,” Merlin whispers into Arthur’s inner thigh. He rubs the skin there lightly, kissing and licking a trail from the top of Arthur’s hip to the place right above his cock.

“You want to keep licking my body or do you want to actually get to cock-sucking anytime soon,” Arthur says with a valiant effort. He can barely breathe because Merlin is _so goddamn hot_.

Merlin chuckles. “I need to teach you patience one day.”

Arthur groans when Merlin licks the tip. “Any day. Any fucking day, just not today.”

Merlin hums and obligingly licks a long, broad stripe from the root to tip, then closes his mouth around Arthur’s cock and starts to suck while he jerks his hand up and down Arthur’s shaft at the same time.

“F—fuck, Merlin yes. Just like that. Uhhn yeah. You’re so good, love, just like that.” He feels Merlin’s moans through vibrations in his legs that do nothing to help how fast he’s about to come. But he thinks Merlin knows because he pulls off and starts licking his cock again, slowly and torturously while he leans forward and brings his fingers to Arthur’s mouth.

“You want me to fuck you?” he asks, spit and pre-come dripping down his chin and eyes ablaze and dark. Arthur rushes his hand to his dick and squeezes at the base as he closes his eyes and lips around Merlin’s fingers, willing himself not to come at something so filthy. God.

“You want it, don’t you, love?” Merlin continues. “You want me to eat you out? Get you nice and wet for me? I’ve been thinking about it so much, Arthur. I wanked myself raw after I first met you—me fingering your asshole, licking at it and getting you sopping wet for my dick. Then I’d fuck you so slowly, yeah? I’d fuck you nice and slow, into the mat while you beg for me to go faster. Cause you like it rough, love, yeah? Nice and hard?”

Arthur sucks harder and faster with every word coming out of Merlin’s mouth, ready to agree to anything he’s saying if he just _gets on with it_. His cock is leaking and hips bucking up in his grip, even though he’s not even stroking it. So he pulls his mouth away, panting into his shoulder as he watches Merlin draw back and circle his hole lightly.

“If you don’t fucking hurry, I’m going to come right now, Merlin. Do you want that? Want me to come without even knowing how good you feel inside of me? How it feels like for you when you know you can do whatever you want to me?”

He smirks when Merlin bites his lips and slips one finger into his hole, face following, and Arthur lurches when he feels his tongue, so slippery and _wet_ , lap and suck at it. Arthur feels filthy by the time Merlin’s fourth finger is fucking his hole, scissoring his spit in and out and around it, getting him ready. He whimpers when he can feel the tip of Merlin’s cock meet his fingers at his hole.

“You ready, love?”

“Fuck yes. C’mon, Merlin.”

Arthur yelps when Merlin pulls his fingers out but throws his head back and moans long and hard when his cock slides in, so, so wet.

“Fuck, Arthur you’re so tight. Unh.” Merlin swivels his hips and Arthur gasps, clawing at the mat underneath him to try and keep it together, but when Merlin starts thrusting, Arthur can’t help but grab at Merlin’s shoulders and pull him down and scratch at his back.

“Fuck, Merlin. Love, that’s perfect. C’mon. F-faster. Y-y-yeah.”

Soon, the gym booms with the sound of skin slapping skin, alternating between a fast and unforgiving pace to a soft sound, and Arthur can’t control himself when he feels Merlin roll his hips as he reaches for Arthur’s cock and starts pumping.

“I’m so close, love,” he says.

“Fuck, Arthur, me too. Come on. You can take it, yeah?”

Arthur barely nods before Merlin lets his hips fly, pounding in and out of Arthur, hand moving at a brutal pace that has Arthur’s head on the mat and eyes closed, unable to help with anything but adding moans and Merlin’s name in Merlin’s shoulder while his nails grab and scratch harder on Merlin’s back.

“Fuck, Arthur, look at you. You’re beautiful. Come on, love. Come for me.” And he does, as Merlin’s nuzzles in his neck and leaves another love bite while he shudders through his own orgasm. They stay that way for some time, Merlin giving little thrusts while Arthur strokes one hand up and down Merlin’s back, the other tangling in his unruly hair, and he smiles at the look Merlin gives him when he kisses one of his large ears. Merlin smiles back and kisses his lips softly, right palm coming to cup Arthur’s cheek, thumb sweeping across his cheekbone.

When they pull apart and Merlin pulls out, Merlin gets up, puts on his clothes and finds a washcloth to clean them up and brings a box of Clorox to wipe down the mats.

“Good idea,” Arthur says as he pulls on his shirt and shorts, grabbing a couple of wipes and starts to make himself busy. He’s just thrown away the wipes when he feels arms around his stomach, so he leans back into the touch and rests his head on Merlin’s shoulder.

“I’m clean, just so you know. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

Arthur smiles and kisses his cheek. “I trust you, Merlin. I’m clean too.”

He feels Merlin smile on his neck and feels the exact moment when the moment’s over. He turns around and grasps his face in his hands and brings their foreheads together again.

“We’ll do this together, okay? You do what you need to, but know that I’ll be behind you 100%, okay?”

Merlin sighs. “That’s what I’m afraid of. You don’t know what these people are capable of, Arthur. It took me four years of planning to be able to move out here, but even then I still got caught.”

Arthur flicks at Merlin’s ear. “That’s only because you were being an idiot. You could’ve told me about this earlier and we could’ve found another pub to go to.”

Merlin frowns. “You know that’s not the point, right?”

Arthur smiles and kisses Merlin on the forehead once before he pulls back and entwines their fingers.

“Let’s go home for now, yeah? We can figure this out in the morning.”

“Don’t you have work tomorrow, though?” Merlin squeezes his hand anyway.

“I think I can afford to take off a day or two. Besides, Gwaine owes me for the past two weekends.”

Merlin smiles as he turns off the lights to the gym and locks the door.

“I wonder what we could do with all that time.”

Arthur pushes him up against the door, grabs Merlin’s ass and smirks.

“I think I have an idea or two.”

***

**~~~Fourteen Years Later—Merlin’s POV**

The Druids now are nothing but a thing of the past. Merlin and Arthur valiantly coordinated (among other things) a plan of attack and infiltration for the Druids with minimal killing involved for the first year they were together. By the third year, all of the members were sentenced to jail for life, save Merlin, who was granted a pardon for all the help he provided.

Six years after that whole ordeal, Merlin and Arthur were married and had trouble deciding over which child they would get along best with: Gilli or Freya. Gwaine and Percy (who were also married and adopted three children) informed them they could always choose both.

So now, 14 years later, they’re teaching their weekend Introduction to Boxing classes to Gilli and Freya, who are now 11 and 15 respectively, and six other students in the class. One of which has had an eye on their daughter since he stepped foot in the gym.

“Leon, what have I told you about blatantly staring? It never works,” Merlin hears Arthur whisper in his ear, and Merlin can’t help but laugh. Arthur turns back to look at him, mouth curved into a frown.

“What?” he asks.

“Oh nothing. I just thought, you know, that it obviously did work if you’re still with me after all this time.”

Arthur splutters as he makes his way over to Merlin, but Merlin knows he’s just faking it—his smile is showing; fond and small, private for just the both of them.

“I’ll show you what’s still working,” he whispers before he leans in to give Merlin a kiss. He smiles into it, letting his gloved hands wrap around his husband’s shoulders, pulling him in closer and closer—but it’s never close enough.

“I want to go home,” he says into Arthur’s ear when they break apart. “Our bed sounds really good right about now.”

Arthur pulls back and smacks his ass as he shakes his head. “You’re such a lazy ass, Merlin. Go upstairs and I’ll be there in a second. I just need to remind Leon here that Freya is more than capable of kicking his ass if he did anything to hurt her, and Gilli has the best roundhouse kick I’ve ever seen.”

Leon blanches, then blushes as he sees Freya eye her dads to assess the situation. Then, _she_ blushes when Leon says, “I would never do anything she didn’t want to do, sir! Not—Not that I want to do anything to her! I mean—um…”

Merlin chuckles as he watches Leon try and stammer on while Arthur tries to hold back his laugh. He never thought he’d get this far in life after he shot Will. He didn’t think anyone would be willing to take him in and love him again because of what he did. But Arthur…he just kept on loving and giving, always making Merlin’s burdens and worries fly away with the words he used to hate hearing.

“You all right there, love?” Merlin flinches when he feels Arthur’s hands wrap around his waist, but kisses his cheek when he sees the concern and worry etched on Arthur’s forehead.

It’s okay.

“Yeah. I just love you a lot.”

Because Arthur’s here by his side.

He smiles. “I love you too.”

And he’s not going anywhere.

<333 FIN <333

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHH so happy with this! Just a reminder--if there was anything in this fic that offended you, I apologize and it was completely unintentional! Please let me know, and i'll fix it as soon as I can! Thank you so much for reading along!! <333 Hope y'all have a wonderful week :3


End file.
